Wait

It all restarted with the Latin Expectans Expectavi (2nd movement of Stravinsky's Symphony of Psalms) which implies longing, thirst and want so deep you are willing to wait.

It's just we are so used to waiting for things we don't really want. So we buy things we never use and the most extreme is having children we avoid. In between we make do with jobs we hate in the name of providing for our family we may secretly despise.

I know I'm talking about extreme cases. Or am I?  Only our heart knows.

But I learned to wait for the life that was there all along. I looked for help, jobs, money, friends, just an understanding ear to no avail only to find that like a pop song lyric "Sometimes the thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see".

And I learned to wait instead of running around even though I may be busy. For I'm talking about waiting on my heat and soul. Something this World War One poem echos.

Expectans Expectavi
By Charles Hamilton Sorley   

FROM morn to midnight, all day through,
I laugh and play as others do,
I sin and chatter, just the same
As others with a different name.  

And all year long upon the stage,        5
I dance and tumble and do rage
So vehemently, I scarcely see
The inner and eternal me.  

I have a temple I do not
Visit, a heart I have forgot,        10
A self that I have never met,
A secret shrine—and yet, and yet  

This sanctuary of my soul
Unwitting I keep white and whole,
Unlatched and lit, if Thou should’st care        15
To enter or to tarry there.  

With parted lips and outstretched hands
And listening ears Thy servant stands,
Call Thou early, call Thou late,
To Thy great service dedicate. 

May, 1915