Romance

This opera song is overused but Kiri Te does a very sensitive performance. The lyrics are sad:

O Mio Babbino Caro Italian Lyrics	O Mio Babbino Caro English Translation
O mio babbino caro,	Oh my dear father,
mi piace, è bello bello,	I like him, he is very handsome.
vo’andare in Porta Rossa	I want to go to Porta Rossa
a comperar l’anello!	to buy the ring!
Si, si, ci voglio andare!	Yes, yes, I want to go there!
E se l’amassi indarno,	And if my love were in vain,
andrei sul Ponte Vecchio	I would go to Ponte Vecchio
ma per buttarmi in Arno!	and throw myself in the Arno!
Mi struggo e mi tormento,	I am pining and I am tormented,
O Dio! Vorrei morir!	Oh God! I would want to die!
Babbo, pietà, pietà!	Daddy, have mercy, have mercy!
Babbo, pietà, pietà!	Daddy, have mercy, have mercy!

Yet the music is emotional, beautiful and commonly used in romantic scenes. A young girl is begging her father to approve her love for Gianni Schicchi and threatens to throw herself in the river if he doesn't. I hope Gianni is worth all this emotion and commotion. It all depends on how well she understands herself and if Gianni fits her life. Because we are spectacularly individual, the young will need to try (if our guardians will allow it) out different people. 

If the fit is good, there is fulfillment. But lying to ourselves and to each other just to get physical intimacy (which is so common), well we all know it is painful even if you convince yourself there are "no strings attached". Our heart begs to differ.

I think this applies to God too. If we wait and seek out a god of our own design based on fear, doubt and regret, it's OK if God treats us so negatively. Many are pining for torment like this girl asking for permission. 

The key to seeing if Gianni is right for her, that he is "bello" is not as important as her own beauty "bella". If she sees who she is, she'll know who is right for her and if her father is not interested in the true "bella" who is his own daughter... well I don't think God is like that.

The opera is here:

Please

In English, this word is used to mean bring pleasure and to beg. It is ironic that even though I am generally ignorant of what people think about me (and don't really care), I still hung on to a certain image I created of me. I seemed to beg the pleasure of people to accept that nonchalant image. So in the end I do care that people buy the person I aimed to make.

It meant more when I wanted to built a fortress or castle normally called a family, a career, a title, or score achievements. They are all good things. But like power, do not really give me value. Pleasure yes but not value.

Just like power does not come from status or wealth, what we commonly strive for in life (often the name of caring for family, friends, colleagues, comrades etc.) cannot make us see how much we are worth in life. Yet we beg for the acceptance of the many. It is called saving face, guarding our reputation, or being popular. Who are these crowds that we want to define us? They are like shifting sand or flowing water that carves its own course.

So if to be pleased we have to beg the acceptance of fleeting standards, it is a dead end road. Even the most popular are hated by some.

8 years since my 18 days in a prison began a chain of unrelated misfortune and dead ends, it is like the water of life has carved out a new me in my stone cold heart of emptiness. It is as if I've been saved.

This feeling is like flying instead of guarding some stupid random image I accumulated over time. There is freedom, joy, hope, love rather than defensiveness, stress, despair and regret. What could be more uplifting?

Link

This is a processed 360 degree view of the Grand Canyon (I think) on Google. It is similar to my previous post "Silence".

Besides this addition, my last post "Power" also links to a difference between giants like dinosaurs and agile flying birds. Giants are trapped by their size and instinct to conquer to guarding and attack rather than the mobility and opportunistic life of the flying animal.

Just take the landscape in the picture. Who would have the easier time there? A giant or a smaller flying bird? If we live in a land that is thirsting for spirit, for hope and love, we'd better learn from the plentiful thriving flying species rather than an extinct one.

Isn't popular culture, aren't corporations, religions, nations... all trying to become big at the expense of the personal freedom, expression and innovation? How about helping the real innovators who are just simple men and women with imagination and passion.

Power

If God is there, by definition all power comes from this source of life and the Universe. A good friend said he was an atheist and my reply was, "There is no such thing." It was a joke but quite ironic if you think about the definitions of God and an atheist.

Many who believe in God do not believe he is powerful. Perhaps this is why many have decided to give up. Yet if he is there, why act like he isn't. If he is powerful, why do we grab power.

The definition of power is the key. We can draw the line of what that is everyday. But at the moment of our birth and our death, none of that matters. Many will think I'm being pessimistic.

Instead true power exists at those 2 moments and is there throughout our lives. Only we are distracted by many other interesting people and things. So it's easy to imagine we are powerful  by many reasons except the person we are.

Many cast doubt on this intrinsic power because it does seem conceited to think we are powerful in our frail bodies. Even in the animal world, we take a long time to grow even physically to adulthood while most other animals fend for themselves in a few months or years. We make mistakes, run into danger, can't take care of ourselves and seem so weak on the outside.

Real power is in knowing who you really really are in an existential way. This word is rarely used and sounds philosophical but it just means every moment is valuable (to put it simply) because the past and the future do not really exist at any one moment.

Because we think, memories and expectations become more and more important as we grow older. It is logical to let them take over our sense of reality. This produces regrets, hopelessness and depression if we focus on mistakes, bad experiences or tragedy. Some learn to ignore these negative feelings all together and convince themselves that everything bad is the fault of everyone else, so it is easy to become either victims or judges of everyone else.

For those who have the courage to face their own feelings, they will see someone strong behind all the judgement and disappointments. That is why oppressed people in history often come out better and stronger than before. When pressed to the limit, many have created art, made important discoveries and changed history for the better after going through times that may have destroyed some.

Some will say we see God during hard times. This is no comfort unless it has happened to you. It is up to each person to deal with the source of life even if you believe it is just a random assimilation of events. Any real power comes from who we see in ourselves: random or divine or scientific. For we all feel the urge to find meaning on this peaceful blue ball we call Earth in a violent chaotic Universe made up of mostly emptiness we call Space.

This physical reality echos our hearts. We feel powerless because we can't change the past. We don't know what we are doing most of the time and have to avoid the realization that our efforts seem meaningless. We feel alone and find it hard to find someone who loves us. It is easy to feel like we live in the emptiness of space and just look forward to negative things that could destroy us. All this is true.

The search is why we are here so I cannot tell you the simple answer about God and Humans and the mystery of our existence. But real power comes from the comfort of this search. It's about learning, enjoying all moments, not blaming anyone and how we treat those we love.

But there is a clue about meaning: it is about creating something. If nothing else, we can experience the magic in having children (even adopted). Nature gives us this gift even if the rest of our life feels like crap.

Those who are successful in life though often fall into the trap that success, the fruits of hard work, the approval of others... (all great things) give us power. They are to be enjoyed but have no real power despite any popularity and recognition. Some live off the illusion of power and forget to search. In such cases, the very things we helped make have trapped and over powered us.

I guess power is in just about searching for meaning, creating and loving.

Silly

Whether it's foolishness or sensitivity, there are some things so insignificant that still bother me. They are like the splinter in a foot of a giant bear. Like little mistakes, embarrassing moments, pointless encounters...

The thorn would have little effect on a bird which would just get rid of it. But big paws and a huge body actually get in the way of pulling out the silly splinter.

So the bigger we think we are the more troublesome the silly things will appear. Know we are not much different than the child we thought we out grew, maybe we can concentrate on the important things in life.

Silence

It was one of most romantic experiences of my life. And I was alone on a boulder that jutted it over the Grand Canyon. The romance I felt was just silence, stillness and light. It felt like I was floating over the huge hole in the earth that could have swallowed the whole of Hong Kong. The only movement was an eagle gliding across the canyon along with a single white cotton ball of cloud. This silence amazed more than any concert, moving speech or majestic display. I felt the power, the love, the purpose that created everything including me. It was like God speaking and I knew why I existed. The only one who shared that moment was the eagle.

It was no coincidence that my life turned shortly after that. I went places, met people, felt feelings that were like new every day. But I never heard the silence again until the last few years. Hard times are not easy by definition. Yet it was in feeling utter desperation that the silence pushes me upwards. I heard with my soul the word, the voice, the will, the love, the purpose, the truth, that gave me life.

The difference is the chatter, the distractions, the doubt and cynicism that seeks to cover the silence with lies. It's like gravity that pulls the eagle to earth despite the wind that carries it.

A new friend reminded me of feeling holiness in the midst of despair. He is not religious at all. Yet his words reminded me of the many seemingly silent majesty that surrounds us and causes me to celebrate whether quietly or loudly. It all depends. But it all begins with a tear that brings joy.

I see God in this holy silence.

Wait

Most people hate to wait. Long distance flying is one of the most dreaded examples. Of course it has to do with cramped space as well but having nothing is do while we wait for arrival is not pleasant. Yet waiting may be the key to success and happiness.

It does go against the common belief that you've got to get what you want and not wait for someone to give it to you. But opportunity is often not something you can induce and manufacture by throwing resource at it like darts to a target. Even big hunters need to wait for prey to be near and birds wait in flight for the right moment to descend on an opportunity.

Waiting is actually about patience rather than forcing your will on the outcome. It is not about inactivity or laziness. That's why many religions talk about the importance of waiting. Many do not believe anyone will show up like the play "Waiting for Godot".

The song says to wait on the Lord. The truth of it depends on who you see is this person? If he is just a pleasant grandpa without much say, some ogre waiting to punish us or other inaccurate image, the waiting is in vain.

I found that it was in the silence of my despair, seeing no exit and feeling like there was no one to hear me, that I learned to wait. And now I am more energetic, focused and flowing with life more than any other time.

Sing

Human instinct is to cry out to be heard. It started at birth. If we suspect we are not heard (and get what we want) we cry even more. Some cry because they are never satisfied perhaps like the dinosaur where the fiercest ones scream out. But most birds sing as if they couldn't care less about an audience.

Humans learn to scream silently which is psychologically unhealthy. But few learn to sing in life. I believe my voice hasn't completely opened up because I've suppressed it too long.

During my difficult time, I did scream out of the darkness. I've recently moved on to singing and moving with my favorite music. I know I'm heard so I'm free to sing like birds.

I'll soon sing with the freedom and sass of the woman urging us to "Be Grateful". Jennifer Hudson does a great new version too.

Hunting

I want to compare the likely difference in finding food between the most famous dinosaur the T Rex and a common eagle. Both are considered formidable but their approach couldn't be more different.

I think most successful and hard working men and women will identify with the dinosaur who moves about, marks a territory and conquers their prey. Jurassic Park movies do the best job of elevating the status of a T Rex to legend. People tend to try and succeed like this giant beast by running around, keeping busy, working as much as possible because we assume hard work will feed us and give us satisfaction. It is a tiring and strenuous life.

But the eagle just glides and observe. They also hunt but really don't use much energy except to make the kill.  Most of the time they watch and wait for the best opportunity.

By contrast, land animals need much effort just to move around because they do not have a view from above. So being naturally land bound, we follow a habit of chasing opportunity for fear of "missing out".

Yet we do have multiple views of our lives especially with ever present media that allows us to find information, lessons, opinions, discussions, just about any human forms of expression. Eventually all knowledge that existed or being formed will be found in the newly popularized cyber space.  We can view the world from above or any angle we want with the benefit of historical hindsight.

Instead of looking deeper, it seems easier just to take every opportunity and hope we can force success. Perhaps a more proven skilled and efficient way is to learn, wait and dive into the best opportunity. Besides, don't we teach children to stop look and listen?

The way of eagles is common still but the inefficient living by force of the ancient magnificent predator is no more.