Dawn

Seeing the world in new ways is literally what happens in photography. Pressing a button on a camera can capture images. Because there isn't much effort in the actual creation of the art, some dismiss it as trivial. For who can't take a picture? While many people like to take selfies and the like for memories sake, I was always looking for the new view points that light up my attention and seems new each time I look.

Good art is like that, no matter what the expression, they fit what is happening and inspires us to see life in a new way. They frame the discussion. They capture a moment in time making it observable and open to reflection. Much can be learned by looking at life from many angles. For the different points of view make things interesting and help us focus on the most important.

Although we may all prefer a certain view at anytime, this will change with our mood and our circumstance. For me the interaction between who I am and what happens in life is magical. We can't change much in life except ourselves. 

Many allow what is imposed on us to be standards of tradition, of value and of our future: one point of view for life. We all begin life in prefabricated conditions. It is easy to feel a victim when you have to be held, or fed, or cared for in order to live. At the same time, you can feel safe and enjoy the care. Our relationships is the key frame of reference in life. Not how much, or how luxurious all that matters is who loves us and whom we love. 

This frame can be changed regardless of your CV, your circumstance and definitely not finances. To understand and experience how we can re-frame our lives begins within. We can realign our relationships through forgiveness and understanding. The problem is that few are really interested in knowing themselves, let alone another. 

Seeing yourself is hard because there is no comparison or too much comparison. We are used to seeing other people who are all different from us. Even if you find your twin, they will not be you. If you see life as a mystery to be discovered and created, then the joy is endless.

But if life is just a matter of making do with the framework allotted us, then the limits are there until we die. None of us are forced to live a certain way forever. Those resigned to fate should think about how a jailed person can still change what he thinks about and his world view. It may not be easy but our minds change all the time. How about using it to understand the mystery that is me?

This understanding is the only frame of reference that matters personally. Society will change maybe in ways that you like, or hate. But you really should have a feeling about it. Working through all of that is the key to enjoying life.

When I left my 18 days of Chinese prison behind nearly 10 years ago, I felt like exiting a cinema after a very bad fearful movie. There was relief what made me give up on defining my life. I decided to just go with it which was fine for a time. But I was burying my creativity, my passion, my love.

Despite the many unfortunate things that happened since, financial, relational, work, health, faith, emotional..., knowing myself through feeling helpless, rejected, disappointed, abandoned and alone actually brought me back to the life I love.

I cried for those who choose to resign to making do instead of conquering the fear of oneself. For it does boil down to fear. If you are afraid of the person you dream about becoming, yearn to express and makes you fidgety, then the whole world is untenable. It will be like the horror flick was not the bad movie but the images that play out in your head. In that case, leaving bad situations or even prison do not set you free.

For freedom is a state of mind, a frame of reference, a viewpoint, a passion, a love, hope, faith. Like the picture of mount Fuji at the moment of dawn that bathes the world in blue, it is magical and can only come from me, myself and I. Unless you know who you are, the magic will evade us.

If you believe in God who is the creator, embodiment of all existence, the source of life in the Universe and who cares enough to create a life so beautiful including oneself, discovery of God begins and ends: the moment of birth and death. The beginning and end of our personal life is the only frame of reference we cannot change. 

I feel the magic of dawn after a long dark night.

Framed

Shinjuku Tokyo is an impressive area where the government, banks and lots of company headquarters reside. It is a monument to efficiency, order and commerce where good food, fun, shopping all come together in probably the busiest transport hub in Japan (or the world). But it is run so smoothly, you wouldn't know it.

Yet the relatively tasteful execution is nothing compared to the simple beauty of the Mount Fuji volcano that seems to watch over the business and pursuits of humans. The white gentle slope hides the power that lays dormant inside. It is a natural art work the earth makes for our enjoyment, admiration and awe.

Surrounded by the world of Shinjuku, you would be charmed or horrified at the running around that goes on 24 hours a day. The frame of reference is so strong as it is in all cities, we are drawn in the pursuits of the crowd.

Yet just behind it, there is a natural course of wonder that create a far calmer world view where the gentle mountain which could still erupt, shows us how small we are compared to the agenda of Nature. Some believe there is moral meaning, some in randomness (but most people are somewhere in between) but no matter your belief, you cannot change the forces of Nature.

To live as if our current frame of reference is the final true one is to be deceived. Framed.

Frames

Resistance to change is a given. What is so silly is that the very tools that can effect change is being used to suppress it. This is just because a generation is refusing to embrace possibilities in the name of risk aversion.

In one of the greatest cultural, intellectual and social changes in history called the Renaissance, one trend was how nature dominates humanity. Ironically the technology that the movement helped create became an effort to control nature. The harm caused to the environment is pushing back today.

Paradigm shifts, Frames of reference, Modal change... Call it what you want. This happens all the time in history. Regimes, religion, cultures, languages, customs... The things that define our lives for better or worse are learned or imposed on us.

They are good because they represent human creativity. But what we make can also become the very things that we submit to. They actually become idols. For Muslims, Christians and Jews they are things that conjure images of wooden dolls or something more elaborate. If something we make becomes standards we call tradition, a religion, a company, a club, a family, even a civilization.

But these are just frames of reference which over the Centuries of human history needed a look back to see paradigms shifts. In the 20th Century, it happened more and more frequently. Some blame technology which is morally neutral. How we use technology and why we develop it however, involves values and ethics. Resistance to change was so great, 2 world wars and a surge in the numbers of national identities exploded.

In illiterate societies where only the elite communicate abstract concepts through skillful use of language, I can see why the masses feel obliged to follow the frame of reference imposed on them. As more and more people learn reason, discourse and debate, the possibility to redefine the social, intellectual and economic framework is democratized. Some want the change today while others resist to the speed or the change altogether.

That is why real freedom of information, learning and expression is both a value and a danger. For change is chaotic and unregulated. It feels safer to control the outcome of things by force. From punishing children to behave, to instilling a sense of submission in youth, to re-educating delinquent adults, we prefer to treat people like robots or domesticated animals who need to act in line with the "norm". True to the mechanistic paradigm: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Convoluted reasons, both fictional and actual stories that show why "this way" is the "only way"... But even the "laws of motion" have their limits.As the forces that seem valid on everyday objects, subatomic forces behave much differently. In fact the nature of subatomic material, whether they are energy, matter, particles, waves is not easily defined. To deal with things we cannot see directly, we can observe the effects of theories through mathematical predictions tested by experiment. New ways of viewing the nature of matter and energy will change how we see the Universe and our lives on Earth.

In my almost 53 years of life on earth, besides the boundaries of my life change as I grew up physically, I have also seen shifts in generations, in regimes, in technology and science occur several times. In science and technology, the quantum theory overtook the mechanistic world view of Newton, we lived through the cold war when nuclear bombs were the center of attention, to how the same theories produced the semi-conductor which in turn made computers smaller and smaller. In University, I went to a room to use them, but they sit in my phone today and are being integrated into all things.

Despite the shift in theory, society is still organized for a mechanistic age. Contracts are written to be long-term. Barriers are set up to make change difficult in the name of stability. If you take a step back, the contracts (written or psychological) that we set up between people are part of the frame of reference, the programming or the paradigm of our lives.

The technical reason that change has sped up exponentially is that computers were made to be programmable. We can change the input and output without building a new machine as in the industrial age. All we need to do is change the code.

This paradigm shift is just beginning even though I have written programs or the more colloquial "done coding" my adult life, because we thought this only applied to computers that used to fill rooms. But now they are everywhere, the possibilities they give us is still limited by the industrial frames of reference where manufacturing was capital intensive, about mass production and marketing.

The shift is happening on all levels of society and "threaten" or "elevate" depending on whether you have vested interests in a state of stagnation (except for your bank account). If money is merely a measure of opportunity, it needs to be invested. The paradox right now is that money tends to be gambled rather than nurture human endeavor and happiness.

Knowing

There are actually many levels of knowing. Hearing, understanding, agreement, empathy, creativity, experience sharing.... They are kind of steps towards change. For to know another person is to be changed.

Our zombie culture started when men and women are used as domestic animals, cogs in a machine, pawns on a board, potatoes on a couch and most recently appendages to tiny touch screens. It's not technology that is to blame but it just makes it easier for temporarily powerful people to control the willing masses. Our innate desire for acceptance, stability, predictable futures and complete risk aversion makes us willing prisoners to half truths and social contracts that limit personal growth.

Unfortunately, this is now normal. We assume that no change is better than the risk of the unknown. People who want, yearn, dream and are haunted by possibilities (like me) are weird, creative types who don't fit in. Birds in cages think flying is a disease. But we can't fly so this analogy is shit right? Wrong because we do fly in planes, balloons, gliders and whatever we invent tomorrow. Caged birds...

If you want to know me, as I yearn to be known, my blog's biggest hint is how much art influences me. I believe all human expression is art. Even the mundane things like language, mathematics, conversation, posture, our stride, smiling, crying.... And there is beauty in all of it. To see this beauty in the best of human kind is my passion.

Because all of it is art, I include pictures and music and (soon) video. I write with the music blaring, with many images floating in my head. Even the formulae (which is correct spelling despite the insistence or our popularity based spell checker) that some memorize as law, inspire me to think about the limits of the assumptions that frame the logic. Passionate people and what they say inspire.

Many scholars though, have lost their passion because it is so easy to make propositions about a slither of knowledge and test it by algorithmic models on fast computers. Universities employ cog-like "researchers" with PhD's to churn out as many papers as possible to increase their international ranking. Is this really a search for knowledge or just safe-guarding a salary?

Religious leaders instead of inspiring the human spirit with the infinite possibilities that an all knowing intelligence created us to seek our potential, instead use gods to limit risk, to instill fear and prejudice. They avoid knowing oneself, let alone a Creator.

Passion for life is what drives me. To know is to embrace this life by sharing all of it with another. We start with the finite beings around us while the Universe points to the infinite. Somehow, the fact I'm writing and thinking about the infinite, makes unlimited potential feasible and worthwhile.

To know.

Power

My last blog post alluded that many do not believe in God are trying to convince themselves and others that they do by ever increasing over-compensation. This is a recipe for a stew of left overs and second hand truths at best. When faced with real problems like poverty, death, pain, loneliness ... these pretenders will be ill equipped to help those they love. This weakness cannot be covered up by big institutions, buildings, popularity or political support. While it is easy to be misled by the external grandeur, they are illusions if no real personal power exits.

Art mirrors our souls, our social aspirations, our angst, our nature... Music is perhaps the most powerful. Good music makes us feel, sing, dance, chant, cry, laugh, smile... the better the music and performance, the deeper the experience. Just like life, some of it sounds good at first but if it lacks soul, energy, excellence, they tire very easily. But when everything clicks, sometimes music is powerful and can change lives.

For me, the ladies who sing in "Be Grateful" and "You can call God" are singing with simple power and soul that are rare today. They just proclaim their message as a matter of fact. No need to persuade, convince, criticize, or contrive emotions. Even the sexy, raw, primal, over-processed singing of many women today cannot compare with the truth in big soulful skillful singing using the voice as the instrument.

The first one was from 1979, probably the 1st black gospel choir piece I ever heard. "You can call God" was from 1989. They coincided with smooth sailing, fast career moves, lots of travel, good prospects in love and work in my life. That continued as I explored many different industries, markets and countries. At the turn of the Century this song (posted earlier) mirrored my confidence in life and discovery as I learned mandarin while installing medical software and lasers in China, India, Korea, SE Asia and Middle East. The work was meaningful but exploring these places were the gems for me.

Then for the first time in my life, unfortunate events hammered and could have destroyed my confidence, my faith and my vision for life. After "He said" by Mary Mary in 2002, I found fewer and fewer songs that just shouted what they believed.

Like society perhaps, there were more "anti this that and the other" sentiment but also whiny complaints that life is unfair. Instead of faith, blame, fear, prejudices are embraced as reasons for action. This is upholding habits of weakness.

Ironically, during the apparent dark time in my life, I rediscovered that power that drove my relationships, my dreams and personal change. And it relates much better to the raw energy in the singing these ladies.

Forgive

No the song is not from Frozen. "Give it up let it go" is a sassy anthem to surrender the things that hold us back. Gandhi said "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong". The hardest person to forgive is often your own self.

Gospel songs have another popular theme. Hold on in faith. The concept of faith has really been hammered because those who do not believe is lying to themselves and others that they do. Or their belief itself has become a slogan or law. If you have this "faith" in an absolute robotic way of conduct and belief, you're just holding on to disbelief.

The difference is intimacy. The discomfort and risk of getting close and personal with another human being. If you can't handle another human, how can you handle God? My belief is that in being aware that there is unlimited learning and creation in the Universe is how we must live (with or without belief in God).

Just like loving another, it is in discovering what that love will bring as the relationship grows is the point of love. Even in science, it is faith the world can be understood and worked out logically that makes discovery meaningful.

Faith and forgiveness go hand in hand. For even an atheist needs to believe in oneself to move on after falling down. Yet blame, regret, holding on to failure instead of believing we can move on is the opposite of forgiveness.

It's the like letting go of the past in order to hold on to the future. For those who believe in God, and those who do not, it begins with holding on to someone's hand in intimacy.

Guilt

Judgement, guilt, regret are all related. It's about feeling bad because of how we view ourselves. The feeling of guilt underlies so much of our behavior and the personal cause of guilt begins with a presumption of debt.

If I owe my life to someone even if they are my loving parents, the concept of debt is already present. Yet no matter your wealth, status, intelligence, the process of life is a mystery. Whether a couple is fertile or not, no human can claim to give another life.

For life is a gift. It is free. It is a culmination of a balance of natural forces in the Universe that produced our earth in spite of the violent destructive power that inhabit a mostly emptiness we call space. The fact we survive the violence that surround our tiny earth in the space whose expanse seems to approach infinity, is on the order of winning the lottery.

We can either believe we owe the mercy of Universal forces sparing our blue planet, or embrace the opportunity life affords us and celebrate the miracle. Guilt is that we don't deserve this life and drives us to prove our worthiness to live.

Those who believe in God are faced with the same choice.

1. To live because he exists and explore the relationship, thankful for the gift of life.
2. Or to appease him in order to live and avoid doing something against his will.

The starting point to make the choice is that he is there. But a far sadder and senseless choice of many is to live to prove God is there because we are not sure he exists. In this case, we are chasing someone/something who could well not be there. It seems better just to give up.

If life begins and ends with nothing, the living itself can be free of debt and guilt. Of course like life itself, this is a mystery and must be discovered. The journey itself is the point for both the theist and atheist.

Explorer

It begins and ends with being grateful for my life and the Universe where I feel safe to be me. 

"The first 50 years of childhood are the hardest". It took me that long to really see who I am: an explorer. Not just in traveling but also an explorer of knowledge, human nature, beauty, truth, creativity, solutions, music, art, celebration, food, addiction, society, evil...

Most prefer the "security" of what they "know" . When I gave up exploring by settling down to stability, coincidentally or consequentially (I don't know), I became sick. And it has taken me many years to recover and become stronger. In what seemed like the doldrums, I ended up exploring who I am and my place in the Universe. It took a few years because there was so much ground to cover,

I thought I was just an IT guy because all of my career was about software. But software means more than what we do with computers. We program our lives by our relationships, our habits, choices, laws, culture, language, education, religion (or not)... In the course of what felt like loneliness, silence and storms, I registered a patent, took control of my health and embraced the people who love me. I mourned those who reject me, bid adieu to some bad habits and saw I could reprogram my own life. The ability and option to rewrite the rules is the gift of being human.

I need to feel at home and a routine too. But it is to live in a few countries, speak the languages, be in contact with interesting caring people, share my life with those who care to live and move forward exploring how to enjoy and improve our lives. I want re-programming life to be my routine and my home.

The explorer is not motivated by the destination but the quest. Those who do not look for anything won't find anything. They fear the destination because it is unknown. But the unknown motivates me and the journey gives me security. I am baited by the awareness of the limits of knowledge while (what feels like) everyone else are happy with a theory and call it the truth. In so doing, they are excused from seeking a better answer.

Like the clipper ship that enabled the exploration of the earth a few hundred years ago, journeys take time. Because the destination is unknown, the trip is no first class seat with constant entertainment but a mixture of fear and excitement, loneliness and boredom. No wonder so few people want to come with me. Most are happy to support me when I have arrived or succeeded... by that time though, I'm already off on my next journey. If I focus on this dichotomy, I will become sad or angry. 

For me, security comes from a strange assurance that I'll be alright in the end because I'm already grateful for life itself. Sounds simple and foolish especially when you are afraid. 

If you are afraid of the future, or the unknown, you will never arrive at tomorrow or truth. And it all begins with being grateful and secure in life itself.