Flight

This symphony haunted me from the first time I heard it at a small concert in Germany many many years ago. I feel like it is about flying over uncharted territory. Scary, daunting but cool! Like this symphony written during World War 2. No smooth melodies or gliding as if a bird had to fly through enemy lines and recorded the feelings.

In my previous blogs, I recounted what I saw and felt as I went through a turning point in my life. Some would write if off as mid-life crisis (although this assumes I'll live to be 100). No matter what you call it, I feel, see and even look different. It's as if the self-imposed jail door has been opened and I finally dared to venture into what is ultimately who I am. And I'm not great. Not handsome. Not popular. Not even very intelligent. Yet I know my importance and that the life I've been given is ever so rich in what truly matters.

Another analogy is that I was struggling with the wind by flapping newly discovered wings. They may have been there all along but I never noticed or used them until now. I was afraid to because no one else was doing it. It took a change in how I lived, loved and hoped. The struggle was like a young bird flapping its wings to take off.

Once wings latch on to the wind, flying is actually gliding. It's effortless and requires little energy. It takes faith to negotiate unpredictable and invisible wind. But you get to see everything from new angles.

The change is not any miracle but merely unfolding of a future that uses all available resources. Many think success is to grow really big. Perhaps I was persuaded too by this common purpose.

Yet I always hated the crowds of common-denominators. I preferred to know someone well including myself. After being rejected a lot, I see the way forward. I yearn for those who see that flying is possible and want to see life from many angles. Discovering these people would be inspiring.